At the End of it All
by Snow-Glory
Summary: My entry for the March Fete des Mousquetaires competition. The theme for March is "Be Prepared." How does one prepare themselves for something like this?


My entry for the March Fete des Mousquetaires competition. The theme is "Be Prepared."

* * *

How does one prepare themselves for something like this?

The woman you love… no, that is not right, _loved_. The woman you _loved_ has torn your entire existence apart. A person cannot love someone who has destroyed everything you loved.

And oh how he _loved_ her. She was fierce and competitive, beautiful and engaging. She was his match in a woman. He will never find that again, he has no desire to, not after what she did.

Which brings him right back to his original thought. How does one prepare to hang the one person you thought would be your forever? How does a person prepare for that forever to destroy your life in one unforgivable act? How does one person change your life in one single act? Change is not even the most poignant word for what she did. She demolished their lives.

This is her fault, all of this. His brother is dead because of her. He has to kill her because of her actions.

Is it normal for his own life to feel like it is ending at this very moment? Is it normal to be so bloody angry that a person could scream and scream until they lose their voice and still not be done screaming?

She is being brought up to the place where he will have her hanged. His heart is thumping so hard in his chest he feels as though he cannot bear another moment of this life. Maybe he could die alongside her? There is no way he could be forgiven for what he is about to do. He is sure God has forsaken him.

He was not prepared to make this decision. He should never have had to be prepared to make this choice. How dare she force him to do this?

He hears her gasp and spins around to find her staring straight at him. The rope is around her neck, loose still, but there. She's beautiful even now in the moments before her death. Her white dress is fluttering in the breeze and she holds a tiny blue flower in her hands. Stunning. Innocent. No… He should not have looked at her, he wasn't prepared for the softness in her eyes. The sorrow. The regret? That has to be a trick of his mind, there cannot be regret for what she did.

He stops breathing. Feels his lungs constrict; the air trapping itself beneath the lump in his throat. Tears prick his eyes and threaten to fall down his cheeks. He should not be crying for her, but he should also not bother crying for himself. This is his choice after all.

He cannot watch this, cannot bear to hear the sound of the rope stretched taught. He chooses not to be prepared to listen to her gasp for breath. He does not want to hear the tree branch groan and bend from her weight. He cannot wait to listen to the sound of the wagon driving away. It will be final then. He will not be able to take back what he has done; what she has done. What they have done to each other.

He is not prepared for the silence. The heavy weight of what he has done. He was not prepared to lose his very self. The overwhelming desire to be someone else because he is no longer who he was.

He was not prepared for the after of it all.

Five years later he was not prepared to see her alive. She is of course, just as stunning as the last day he saw her. It should have been the last day he ever saw her again. It is not fair that his demons come to haunt him in the form of his failure.

She has a different name now, one that sounds as cunning as she has become. It is a cold name, without personality and yet perfectly describes her.

He supposes his "forever" will always be just that.

He was not prepared for a second chance or even for wanting one. This time he feels as though he should believe her when she retells the story of her as the victim of his brother. God only knows he does not want to trust her, but after five years her story remains exactly the same. He tried to prepare himself for a fantastical story and found himself ill-prepared for an exact recounting.

He was absolutely prepared to throw Athos away and become Olivier again. Her Olivier. Hers. He was not prepared to have failed her again in the form of war. To attend a wedding. To retrieve a wayward brother.

Next time, because he knows there will be one of those, he will be prepared for her. Nothing will stop them the next time.

Yes, next time he will be prepared because regardless of what they wish, they are forever.


End file.
